Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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