I don't think brook has ever known best
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
