my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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