I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
