I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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