I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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