I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
