Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
