Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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