So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They have beer where we have blood.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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