id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize