Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'll bet she douches with gravy.

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(661): View more from California

Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

(831): View more from California

Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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(207): View more from Maine

You said your dick dragged you up the stairs

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(914): View more from New York

He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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(310): View more from California

Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.

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(914): View more from New York

Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

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(239): View more from Florida

Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.

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