Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
