your thong is hanging out like whoa
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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