Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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