Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
