You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
