I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
