Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
