Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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