Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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