yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
