he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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