I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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