Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
