we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
