Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
