I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
