I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
