Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
