no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
