I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
