Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
