Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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