yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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