I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
