All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
