I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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