For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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