Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell

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(917): View more from New York City

M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

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(210): View more from Texas

remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

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(440): View more from Ohio

she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even

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(206): View more from Washington

Who showers for four hours?!

(760): View more from California

It was like a tropical nap.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence

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(773): View more from Illinois

we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

you win some, you lose some.

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(650): View more from California

WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.

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