you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
