Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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