Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
