walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
