Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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