The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have started to decorate penises.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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