It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
