Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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