Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
