yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
